Oh, the many rules of the Avengers Tower
by Agent.Badass
Summary: Just some of the rules of the Avengers Tower. Forbidden this and banned that. No this and Don't that. Of course why all the rules are here are explained. Read and tell me whatcha think! : I only own the narrator.
1. Chapter 1

**This is inspired by so many rule books out there, so I hope it's a good one and you guys like it. I am always open to ideas(:**

**Narrator is Tony Stark's long lost niece, Annika Rose Baer come to live with the Avengers after her parents die.**

RULE #1: DO NOT PROVOKE BRUCE BANNER

" Hey Bruce will you get mad if I poke you?"

"Yes, why?"

"Tony said you would." I say as I walk away leaving him to his newspaper. Ten minutes later, I start to shoot spit balls at him.

"TONY!" he yells. Tony walks out of his lab and sits down by Bruce. I shoot a few more. Bruce glares at Tony. Tony is oblivious. I shoot a few more and then Bruce begins to Hulk out.

"What in the hell, Banner?" Tony screams running for his life from the green rage monster. I laugh evilly and crawl back through the air vents into my room.

RULE #2: DON'T ASK NATASHA HOW HER'S AND SPIDERMAN'S SEX IS

"I was wondering Natasha.." I begin one morning.

"What…" she asked giving me her 'what now' look.

"How is the sex between you and Spiderman?" I ask.

"ANNIKA ROSE BAER? WHY IN THE- DON'T EVER ASK SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN. AND STOP ASSOCIATING ME WITH THAT GOD DAMNED NERD!" she yelled at me right before throwing her coffee mug at my head, which might I add, I dodged very easily.

"Your aim is getting lousy." I grin over my shoulder.

"Oh no it's not. I just don't want to hurt you!" she yells at me. I pass a confused looking Clint as I go back to my room.

RULE #3 DON'T CHALLENGE AGENT CLINT BARTON TO AN ARCHERY CONTEST

I was feeling cocky one morning so while we were all at breakfast I decided to challenge Clint.

"I bet I could beat you in an archery contest." I said to him. The only response I got was laughter from everybody.

"Anna if you win I will buy you ANYTHING you want." Tony said taking a drink of his orange juice.

"Challenge accepted."

We went to the shooting range after eating and the contest began.

It ended quickly when I accidently shot an arrow into the stereo, Clint hit every target and even split some arrows.

I lost, badly. -.-

RULE #4 DON'T PLAY ARY WITH LOKI

Loki and I were alone in the tower one day and I found Steve's old military helmet and convinced Loki to play army with me. He was easily convinced. We built our forts and such. When it came time for battle he had his scepter and I one of Natasha's spare guns..

One hour later..

The Avengers, Fury, and Coulson walk out of the elevator to see a completely destroyed Living room, dining room, and kitchen. They follow the damage to find Loki and I still battling it, out currently destroying the gym. I was using a punching bag for cover.

"LOKI'S AFTER ANNA!" Natasha yelled as she charged after him. Instantly her thighs were wrapped around his neck.

"What are you talking about Tasha? We were having a war!" I yell running over there.

"Are you trying to give him more ideas to take over the world?" Fury yelled.

"Are you trying to drive me insane?" I counter.

I am currently being interrogated as to if I am helping him plan world domination, since as Fury puts it 'I know your damn well capable of taking over this world single handedly, Annika.'

RULE #5 DON'T TOUCH THE IRON MAN SUITS

I may or may not have taken one for a joy ride…

May or may not have completely destroyed another one..

And may or may not have painted nails, put makeup on it, and put one in a dress. That one may have also been Tony's favorite and newest..

**What do you think? Comment? Por Favor y gracias!**


	2. Chapter 2

RULE #6 DO NOT MESS WITH THOR'S HAMMER

You have to admit, Thor's hammer is too tempting. He left it just sitting around in the living room floor. I looked around to make sure he wasn't around and found him asleep in his bed with pop tart wrappers everywhere, literally.

I run back to my room and grab my art&craft kit and go crazy. I glue jewels and rhinestones all over the damn thing and then color on it with pink sharpie and lastly add a big pink bow. I shove everything back into the box and run like hell back to my room. I get on my xbox only to hear Thor start to yell.

He runs into my room holding the very pink and sparkly hammer.

"What have you done to it?" he cried.

"What has your hammer done to my art kit?" I ask running to my kit and hugging it. Thor only stormed out grumbling. As soon as he entered the living room I heard Clint and Tony start to laugh. Success.

RULE #7 THE LAB IS OFF LIMITS

Once again I was left alone in the tower so, I have to find something to entertain me. I suddenly realize I have never been in the lab. Hmmmm.. ;)

Bruce and Tony left many unlabeled test tubes and beakers full of mysterious liquids. Somehow by mixing a few of the liquids together I managed to melt a table and set off a small series of explosions.

Both Tony and Bruce happened to walk in as the explosions began…

Will they ever learn to never leave me at the Avengers Tower alone?!

RULE #8 ANNA IS NOT TO HAVE A BABYSITTER NOR BE LEFT ALONE IN THE TOWER

I ran off the old ladies they managed to hire to watch me in just a matter of hours. They had no choice but to bring me along to SHEILD.

RULE #9 THERE WILL BE NO HIDING IN CLOSETS, UNDER BEDS, OR IN BATHROOMS

At dinner one night I tried to scare Natasha, yet I remained unsuccessful.

"Sorry, Anna. I don't scare." She said rolling her eyes. As a result I spent the next week exploring the less inhabited parts of the towers and remembering the ones I could use to jump out of successfully and scare Natasha or Clint.

After figuring out the one place Natasha would never think to look was the very back of her closet where it is dark and only her formal dresses are.

After dinner that night while the adults were still talking about their last mission I snuck away from the table claiming I had homework to do, even though we both know what I was up to and come on me do homework?. I ran down the hall to Natasha's bedroom and climbed into her closet closing the door slightly and draping a dress bag in front of me. I didn't have to wait long before she entered her bedroom. Only she wasn't alone… I her and the unknown guest making out and things were getting pretty heavy and then I heard the shedding of clothes.

I jumped up and flung the door open covering my eyes and ran out of the room screaming, "AH! MY VIRGIN EYES!" I was however, successful at scaring the shit out of Tasha well, and Clint….

Things still aren't the same around them.

RULE #10 SCARY MOVIE MARATHONS ARE HERE BY BANNED

Yes I got scary movie marathons banned in the tower. How? Simple, I just persuaded everybody (except Bruce) to watch five of the ten Halloween movies. About half way through the fifth one I snuck off again to get into costume. (I think we all knew what I was about to do) I pulled on the suit and mask and picked up the knife and silently made my way back to the living room.

They hadn't even noticed I had left nor did they when I walked back into the living room. They were too interested in what was happening on the screen so I resorted to sitting on one of the bar stools and watched the end of the movie. When the credits started to roll I quickly stood up and went behind Clint who was next to Natasha on the love seat and Tony and Steve were directly across from them. Steve reached up and turned on the lamp. When he and Tony both saw me standing there they screamed and hugged each other forcing Clint and Natasha to look behind them at me. Clint literally screamed like a 7 year old girl and clung to Natasha, whos reflexes kicked in and she punched me in the face. I fell backwards and Natasha ripped my mask off.

"Shit, Anna! Why in the hell would you do that?" Clint asked jumping from the loveseat to me. My nose was steadily bleeding.

"Ever heard of a small four letter word called a JOKE, Natasha?" I cried as I touched my nose.

"Sorry, Anna, but in my defense you should know better than to scare me. I thought you learned your lesson when you-"

"AHHH! Don't bring that up!" I begged.

"Stark, there is no doubt in my fucking mind that you two are definitely related." Steve growled walking away his hand still pressed to his chest.

"I got you all GOOD!" I laughed cleaning the blood off of me.

"Laugh now, Anna." Tony warned. I shrugged my shoulders and went off to my bedroom and changed into my shorts and sports bra and fell asleep.

It didn't last long.

I woke up when I heard my door open. I sat up in my bed and looked around my unusually dark bedroom. I reached over and turned on my lamp only for somebody to fucking be standing there in my costume. I jump back and kick them in their groin. They fall to the floor and just for an extra effect I quickly punch them in the eye.

"OW! Annika!" Tony cried out from under the mask.

"WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?" I scream yanking the mask off and finally seeing the others around the room. Clint is holding a camcorder. All their jaws are on the floor after seeing me just beat the crap out of Tony for his stunt.

And that is why horror movie marathons are now banned.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't know if they are any good. Please let me know?**

**RULE #11 DRESSING UP AS A SCARY MOVIE VILLIAN IS BANNED**

(see rule ten as to why)

**RULE #12 THERE ARE TO BE NO MORE WIZARDING DUELS**

Let's just say we all watched the Harry Potter movies and we all were inspired to have a 'duel'. In the end Loki was Voldemort and I was Harry Potter… ;) The others didn't cry when I 'killed' him, they cheered.

Oh, did I mention we destroyed the tower during said duel?

**RULE #13 DO NOT IMPERSONATE DIRECTOR NICK FURY**

What can I say? Besides that Tony totally thought I did a badass job at playing him.

Black clothes, black leather duster, gun, and even his eyepatch. Yeah, I'm that good!

**RULE #14 NO PLAYIGN THE IMPERIAL MARCH FOR FURY WHEN HE WALKS AROUND**

I was around SHEILD one day and came across Fury walking in the hall, so I hacked into the intercom system and played the Imperial March in the hallway he happened to be walking down.

I think he liked it a little too much considering every time it came on he fucking grinned and chuckled! -.-

**RULE #15 SAME RULE APPLIES FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ANTHEM**

Again he liked it just a little too much.

Worse he made me start to call him Mr. President, President Fury, and Darth Fury. Plan completely backfired.

This is not over.

**RULE #16 NO JUMPING OFF ROOFTOPS WITH AGENT CLINT BARTON**

Last week I saw Clint head to the rooftop like usual but my curiosity got the better of me today and so I decided to follow him and spy on him. I should have known that you cannot spy on a super spy.

I was prepared for him to send me back down stairs so I began to turn away when he spoke up.

"Wanna know what it feels like to be completely free and weightless?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I ask him. His response was just looking down at Manhattan.

"You mean by jumping off the roof?!" I squeal.

"Sure."

"Won't we die?" I ask. He hold up his bow and I know what he means.

"Hell yes I do!" I say practically bouncing over to him. He stands on the ledge and helps me up and securely wraps one arm around my waist. Of course I start to blush, I mean he is incredibly hot but, let's face it, I'm 17 and he is like 26? Way too old. Plus he is Natasha's as I know all too well. *shudders*

Clint and I both jump at the same time. Yes, I screamed a little but after a second I found that what I was experiencing was absolutely incredible. He turned us around and shot an arrow into the building which had a cable attached at the end and we swung around to the balcony landing softly on it.

"Don't tell Tasha. She will kill me." He said.

"CLINT BARTON!" but maybe a little too late. He got his bow taken away for a week and I got grounded for a week for agreeing to go building jumping. Oh yeah and Tony used him as a lab rat as punishment.

**RULE #17 CREATING FAKE EHARMONY ACCOUNTS IS NOT ALLOWED**

So Tony and I created ones for Bruce, Loki, Phil, Fury, and Steve. So what?

Steve naturally was a hit. And oddly enough Fury and Loki were as well. I guess women dig a guy with an eye patch. As for Loki, maybe it was his teeth. God knows it wasn't his hair style!


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you guys! Well here is the next one! I am still taking more ideas! **

**RULE #18 DON'T TALK TO STEVE ABOUT SEX, EVEN IF IT'S A JOKE**

Worst mistake ever he took it literally. And now won't stop questioning me.

**RULE #19 NO SEXUAL JOKES AROUND STEVE**

It's way too awkward and complicated when you try to explain the joke to the 80 year old virgin.

**RULE #20 PRANK WARS ARE HERE BY BANNED**

Loki claimed he was better at pranking people than me, and back home my friends know exactly how evil I can be yet I look so sweet and innocent on the outside.

We battled it out for maybe a month.

We both gave in because we rocked so we teamed up and pranked anybody and everybody in the tower and helicarrier.

I am being re-interrogated as we speak because I teamed up with Loki.

**RULE #21 DON'T PLAY HIDE AND SEEK WITH THE AVENGERS**

Clint was the seeker first, and he found Natasha first, then Tony, following Thor and Loki, then Bruce. They got confused as to where I would be hiding.

I hid in the security office with all the cameras so I could see where Clint was and where he found the others. When they started to look for me I quickly hid in Clint's hide out he thought that only he knew about. His 'nest' which is in the air vents and has nothing but pillows and blankets in it. It took them four hours before Clint finally found me asleep in his pile of blankets.

"Found her." He said in his mic. I woke up and jumped hitting my head in the process.

"How long have you known?" he asked as we crawled out.

"About your nest? Uhh a while. You suck at sneaking away little Hawky." I smirk.

It was finally my turn to be seeker and I found everybody in record time since I had pretty good ideas as where to find them.

They insisted that I cheated so they ended the game. Eh whatever I didn't cheat I just used my smart strategy and won! Poor sports never win anyways!

**RULE #22 NO, JUSTIN BEIBER CAN NOT BE THE NEW TORTURE METHOD**

Loki took my diary and proceeded to try and open it. First he needed the key, which happened to hang around my neck 24/7. Second he tried to pick the lock, he was unsuccessful. Finally, HE TOOK MY DAMN DIARY!

I knew he took it because well, he isn't called The God of Mischief for his looks. Once I caught him he insisted he didn't have it nor did he know where it was.

I tied him to a chair in my room and turned the stereo on full blast and put on Justin Beiber. I put in ear plugs and left the room. I checked on him every hour pausing the music to ask if he finally gave up yet he didn't. So I turned it back on and left. Poor bastard listened to twelve hours of his annoying voice before he finally gave in.

"How is it Midguardian girl's love him?" he whined as I untied him. He gave back my diary and then left.

The next day during a meeting Loki asked for the strongest aspirin SHIELD had, when asked why he glared at me. I gave my most innocent smile.

"What did you do, Anna?" Thor asked rushing to Loki's side. This time my smile turned evil and I simply grabbed my phone and began playing Baby from Justin Beiber. Loki groaned and began pounding his head on the table. Natasha grabbed my phone and turned off the music.

"You made him listen to Justin Beiber?" Tony laughed.

"Yep, for about twelve hours!" I grinned.

"Why?" Fury asked pinching the bridge of his nose.

"He stole my diary!" I said crossing my arms.

"So… "

"I tortured it out of him. You know, you should appoint me to torture people. I would do great and we both know it! I mean just look at Loki." I say beaming. We both looked at him. He was now drinking some water.

"Hey Loki, guess what?" I ask.

"What?" he replies quietly.

"JUSTIN BEIBER!" I yell and point behind him. He screams and covers his ears.

"Anna, you are not to torture anybody with that music, is that clear." Fury asks looking at me with his eye.

"Yes, but can I do one thing real fast?" I ask getting an idea in my head.

"What?" he asks raising an eyebrow.

"Baby, baby, baby oooh Like baby, baby, baby nooo Like baby, baby, baby oooh  
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)" I sing at the top of my lungs.

"Annika Rose, stop torturing Loki. Even though we all are loving this. You have to stop, unfortunately." Tony said with a sad face. I crossed my arms again and sat back.

And THAT is why I can't use Justin Beiber as a torture method.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! I really hope you guys liked the last chapter, I have used JB as torture for my brother, any way here's the next chapter! Keep the reviews coming! **

**CHAPTER #23 NO MORE PARTIES**

You know, living in the same house as Tony there will definitely be some crazy wild insane parties. Well, not anymore after this last one of his. Friday night.

"Hey Pepper, my last party was well, my birthday party." He said at breakfast.

"You mean the one where you got wasted and you and Rhodey destroyed the Malibu mansion? Remember that Natasha?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"How could I not?" She said rolling her eyes.

"Pretty awesome party, huh?" Tony asked smirking.

"You peed in your suit, Stark. Hardly awesome." Natasha snapped.

"Well, anyway, we should have a party! To uh, celebrate us! The Avengers!" He said throwing his hands up in the air.

"No. You have a your 17 year old niece living here now. NO MORE PARTIES!." Pepper said getting up and ending the conversation.

Let's just say he had one anyway and I joined in. Yeah… parties are banned in the tower.

**CHAPTER #24 NO PULLING PRANKS ON THE NEWBIES**

It was really Clint's idea. I just liked the idea so much that I made him, Tony, and Loki join my 'prankster club'.

First off freaking the new recruits out by bringing Loki in the room telling them he could read your mind is not good. They start to cover their heads or pull out their guns and aim them at Loki.

Second stealing their clothes while they're in the shower is another NO NO.

Third making them think them think that approaching Natasha after a meeting is completely okay is well, not. Everybody who has been here a while knows NEVER to approach her after a meeting because she is most likely pissed and hasn't blown off steam in the gym yet. Most of those new recruits ended up with something either sprained or broken.

Fourth telling them Friday's are casual days here and it is acceptable to wear sweats will get you a stern look from Fury.

So many things we did to those new recruits that either made them quit or they need therepy!

Unfortunatly Clint, Tony, and I are all being interrogated about our partnership with Loki. He's is just too brilliant not to include!

**RULE #25 NO SCARING THE NEWBIES**

When Jeena was giving them the tour I put on a little bit of makeup and grabbed a gurney and pretended I just had the shit beat out of me by Fury for not getting paperwork in on time.

They never turn anything in late. Fury thanked me and gave me a hug. Way too awkward for my liking.

I once, also told them Loki had escaped and was on a 'World Domination' rampage and they all ran around like headless chickens. That one got me triple the paperwork for making a few recruits have mental breakdowns.

**RULE #26 PAINTBALL WARS ARE BANNED**

Need I say more besides…

Bruce Hulked out,

Natasha went insane and literally kicked all out asses (even Clint's)

Pepper cried

Tony ended up peppered in bruises EVERYWHERE

I had a few bruises myself

Thor gave up and started to use his hammer

And Clint resorted to hiding in trees and taking us down.

SO PAINFUL AND NOT ENOUGH ICE!

**RULE #27 NO PLAYING TWISTER**

Thor and Bruce couldn't even fit on the mat.

Clint and Tony got in a fight over the fact that Tony was enjoying the position he was in with Natasha a little too much.

Natasha and I are both too flexible to lose.

And Steve left to go break up the fight between Clint and Tony. Which by the way Clint was beating Tony's ass.

**RULE #28 NO GAMBLING/PLACING BETS**

I'm rich and Tony has to do my homework for two months(: Why?

"Anybody seen Hawk?" Tony asked.

"I bet I know where he is. And no, not with Natasha." I reply.

"I seriously doubt that you know where he is, my dear not so innocent niece."

"If you win this bet?" I ask.

"Uh, you are on kitchen duty and bathroom duty for two months." He said smirking.

"Okay and if I win, I want an allowance and you have to do my homework for two months, oh yeah and no chores for two months." I reply.

"That's a little much don't you think?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"Why? Scared?" I teased.

"No, how much are we talking $100 a week?" he asked taking a sip of his drink.

"Add another zero to that and we have a deal. Either that or you can search for the Hawk yourself."I gamble.

"Fine. Even though I have no idea what you are going to do with that sort of money." He said sticking his hand out. I shook it an took off. Five minutes later I returned with Clint trailing behind me.

"How? Where did you find him?" Tony squeaked.

"Now that, my naïve uncle, is MY secret." I said grabbing his wallet and extracting my first weeks allowance.

I have no idea why he carries that kind of money around but hey, IM RICH!


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I loved all the reviews, thanks! So I have received a few suggestions and I will get around to writing them after I finish my list of ones I already have in mind! Anyways here we go with some more rules of the tower! **

**RULE #29 NO STRIP POKER**

Possibly the number one played game in the tower is strip poker. With me still being a minor, never get to play the wonderful game. But, by some miracle (and a little bit of blackmail) I was finally allowed to join in on the fun!

Little did they know I am excellent at the game and almost never lose.

"Now, tell me again, how you know how to play strip poker Anna." Natasha said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh come on! I am 17 almost 18. I have been to parties and roadtrips and camping trips. There is always streaking, drinking, streaking, truth or dare, and STRIP POKER." I said rolling my eyes.

"Right, who exactly did you hang out with when you did these um, activities?" Steve asked turning a little red.

"Nunya." I answer looking at my cards.

About an hour later Steve, Loki, and Thor were in their boxers and briefs, Tony had lost his shirt and socks, Natasha and Clint had both lost their shirts and as for me I has only lost my jacket.

Told you I was good.

"Where did you learn to play poker, Anna. Vegas?" Tony asked when he saw only my jacket laying on the table.

"No, but close to it. My friend's dad is a professional poker player and taught me tricks so I can almost never lose." I say smirking. Tony growled since he never lost. Steve is always the first to lose.

Five minutes later Steve had to lose his boxers. Natasha forced me to look behind me as he shed his last piece of clothing. Damn her! I was finally allowed to turn back around but five minutes later Loki lost and didn't wait for me to turn.

I'm scarred for life and now I only laugh when I see him anywhere.

**RULE #30 NO MORE SUPERBOWL PARTIES**

Tony thought it would be a good idea to throw a superbowl party to introduce Loki and Thor into the true American sport. Quite a few people came to it, well enough to make Pepper annoyed and smack Tony on the back of his head. Natasha and I aren't into the sport as much as the guys, obviously, so we decided to go one of the more private rooms and watch some movies we ordered. After we watched The Lucky One we put in The Vow when we heard…

"HULK SMASH!"

We ran over to the elevator and pushed the penthouse button. It took a few moments to reach it but once we got there the living room was a wreck and Tony, Clint, and Thor we already forcing the Hulk into his lab where he could calm down.

"What the fuck did you guys do to make him hulk out?" Natasha growled at the three guys.

"Well, uh, the Patriots lost which meant that Bruce lost $100." Tony said looking down.

"I swear to God, guys. This is why you will never have another god damn fucking super bowl party!" Pepper swore. We all looked shocked at her sudden potty mouth.

"Sorry I'm just mad that I now have to call the construction guy, yet again!" she yelled.

"Maybe you should just let him live in the tower with us!" I joked.

**RULE #31 TAMPONS AND STEVE, JUST DON'T MIX**

It was Steve's turn to do the grocery shopping and it also happened to be the day that Pepper, Natasha, and I started our periods. So we had to quickly write in TAMPONS! On the list. After we handed the lists to Steve he left and didn't return for a few hours.

3 hours after his departure

He finally walked in through the door with Happy in tow. As they dropped the first bags off in the kitchen area the rest of us went to the elevator to grab the remaining bags. It was a team effort of unloading and putting away.

Towards the end of the 'fun' process Steve found one of the boxes of tampons and opened it and took one of the small plastic tubes out.

"What is this anyway?" He asked taking the cotton piece out.

"Um, Steve, that's what the females call a tampon." Tony said trying to hide his laughter.

"Dude! Put that down!" Clint exclaimed.

"I just want to know what it is!" he said still holding it.

"Then let me play teacher!" I said snatching it from him. I grabbed another from the box and took it out of its wrapper.

"This, dear Captain, is a tampon. It is used to, um, soak up our blood that us 'females' tend to leak one week out of every month. See we put this up in our, well you know, and push the plastic stick which pushes the cotton out into us to obsorb. We take the tube out and go on with our lives. When it comes time to change the tampon out we pull on this string to pull it out and then restart the process. And then we flush the old one down the toilet." I say. By now he is redder than the paint on the Iron Man suit and Clint and Tony are on the floor laughing and holding their sides.

"Oh, I'm sorry I asked." He said quickly not looking me in the eyes.

"It's okay. You had to learn sooner or later." I say shrugging.

"Oh and Cap. If you value your life, it would be best not to make them mad or irritate them during their week." Clint said looking at Natasha and then quickly looked away.

"Uh, yes that is a good piece of advice." Tony said nodding his head.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well once this guy at SHIELD decided to make few sexual comments about Tasha and it was her time of month and she easily nearly choked the life out of him. He is still scared of her every time she walks into a room. For the second time in five minutes he turned an impossible shade of red.

**RULE #32 TRUTH OR DARE IS BANNED**

Yes the ever so classic game of Truth or Dare is now banned. Here is the list of dares everybody had..

Tony: run around the block naked, prank call Fury and tell him he was the most handsome guy he had ever seen, call Pepper and say he had sold the company, and fly to the empire state building and jump off waiting till the last possible second to pull up.

Clint: Get into Natasha's catsuit(that was not a pretty sight), sing Baby(Loki hated me for that one ;)), and tell us his feelings toward everybody in the tower. Apparently he hates Loki, is undecided about Tony, Likes Thor, Slightly scared of Bruce, Worried about my sanity, Likes Pepper, and Loves Natasha.

Natasha: Put on the Iron Man suit and fly it to Brooklyn and back(she almost wrecked it), call up somebody who she really hated and tell them(turned out to be Maria Hill), and down an entire bottle of Russian Vodka.

Thor: well, we were scared to find out so he did all truths.

Steve: basically it involved daring him to strip and do crazy things(he may have gotten arrested for public indecency)

Me: Jump off the top of Stark tower and propel down the side with the help of Clint's grapple arrow(I almost missed…and DIED!), hack into SHIELD and change the new recruit's up coming missions, and call Fury screaming into the phone, "LOKI IS TRYING TO DOMINATE THE WORLD, AGAIN!"(that one earned me yet another round of interrogation and I owed Loki an apology for when Fury busted down his door with guns aimed at him.)

Loki: we didn't dare him, because we know how crazy he is.

Plus, we, and by we I mean I, don't need to be interrogated anymore..

Bruce: One dare and he hulks out on us!...

Thanks Bruce, you got the game banned… -.-


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks so much for all the reviews you all have given me, but.. can I get a few more pretty please? **

**RULE #33 JARVIS CAN NOT DO ANNA'S HOMEWORK**

My teachers formally complained to both Tony and the school board that I do all my homework flawlessly, yet I completely bomb any quiz/test I am given. Tony took one look at my homework sheets and instantly knew exactly who or in this case what did my homework.

In my school court hearing I had to try to prove to them that I didn't cheat.

My defense?... "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I did not cheat, I used a smarter and more efficient strategy to complete my homework correctly and on time."

My punishment for cheating? Suspension for one week and I get to redo each and every assignment that Jarvis completed for me.

**RULE #34 NOBODY CAN BREAK ANNIKA'S HEART**

I was surprisingly asked out on a date by Matt(the hottie in my chemistry class) he picked me up and the date went really well. We had quite a few really good dates and dated for a few months, then he decided he wanted to see other people.

I was devastated and yes, I admit I did cry my eyes out. I even stayed home from school for a few days. Nat and Pepper brought me magazines, chocolates, and ice cream to make me feel better. A few weeks after the break up I noticed that Matt was totally avoiding me. Then we got paired up on a lab and he tried to get Mr. Don to switch lab partners but, Mr. D is stubborn so he was stuck with me.

All I really remember of the conversation was, "Yeah right, Anna. Just tell you Uncles and Aunt to leave me alone and stop hurting me!"

I sat them down and found out that the guys had threatened his balls next time he hurts any girl and Natasha just threatened his life if he ever looked at me again.

I love my family! :D

**RULE #35 NO BLACKMAILING**

Everybody in the tower has their way of blackmailing.

Tony's is videos. Pepper's is just all the secrets she knows. Bruce is medical files. Steve is, well, I don't think Steve does blackmail(he's too goodie for that). Clint is personal files. Natasha's is the things she over hears and can get her hands on. As for me, mine is the many things I know about people and what I see and hear around the tower.

Natasha is currently in the lead and I am following extremely closely behind her. The only reason why she is beating me is because she found my Batman collage book… comic book and movie pictures alike. OH MY GOD IS CHRISTIAN BALE HOW OR WHAT? The correct answer to that is, YES!

The people who I have the most dirt on right now is Maria Hill, Fury, Tony, and Nat. I think I can persuade her to drop the batman thing ;) hehehe

That night..

"Hey Natasha, I think you should drop my biggest secret now." I said walking into the gym.

"And why is that, Anna?" She asked smirking and raising her perfect eyebrows.

"Well, because I may or may not have found out that you and Clint are, shall I dare say it? Um, betrothed, in front of the 'family' at dinner tonight." I grin.

"Annika Rose Baer you breathe even a word of that and I will make your life a living hell!" She growls as her face pales.

"So then I take that as a yes?" I ask raising an eyebrow. She looked at me with those menacing green eyes of her before she spoke, through gritted teeth might I add.

"What damn book?"

"Good, Oh and I better be in the wedding." I grin over my shoulder.

"One more thing, Anna." Nat called after me. I turn slowly readying myself incase she is going to pounce.

"Yes?"

"How did you find out?" She asks raising an eyebrow.

"That is my secret, dear spider." I tease.

"Yes, you are most definitely Anthony Stark's niece." She growled before taking all her anger out on an unfortunate dummy. Coincidently it looks a lot like me… I don't know if I should be afraid or not.

Let's just say I'M IN THE LEAD!

**RULE #36 NO MORE WII**

Last weekend we were all enjoying a lovely game of Wii Sports. We were playing tennis when a familiar bolt of lightning broke our concentration and out came our favorite Demi God.

Thor had never played this mystical game on the magic box so we taught him how to play. He caught on quickly to tennis but then wanted to try boxing…

He took the game too seriously and punched a hole completely through the 'magic box' and then cried because the magic was gone and it was all his fault.

I felt so bad for the big guy :/

**RULE #37 NO MORE FOOTBALL GAMES IN THE TOWER/SHEILD HQ**

Tony got Thor and Loki hooked on the wonderful American game of football.

On Wednesday Tony separated the tower into two teams and we were going to have a tournament. Winning team didn't have to clean/ cook for a month and got to pick every meal for the next month. On his team: Clint, Steve, and Banner. My team: Nat, Loki, and Thor. Pepper elected out so instead she is a slightly pregnant cheerleader for soon to be Daddy Stark.

Game starts and first thing Tony does is piss Banner off and make him Hulk out on us all…

I like to play fire with fire so I sent Natasha after him, she had no problems with that and he saw her coming so he went and hid behind Pepper who moved out of the way. He just handed her the ball and we scored!

Tony gave the ball to Clint and with his super ability to climb into REALLY high places he managed to score.

I thought it would be a really good idea to give Thor the ball and see exactly how far he could throw it. He threw it right through the glass wall and right into Manhattan landing on a double decker bus full of people sight seeing.

Nobody died, injured, yes, but died, no. However, on a slightly funnier note Tony is now being sued!

**RULE #38 NEVER EVER TAKE NATASHA'S CATSUIT AND DRESS UP AS HER**

It was dress up as your role model day at school for spirit week. I borrowed Tasha's mission suit aka the catsuit and one of her guns and dressed up as my role model. When I got called to the principal's office they called all of the avengers down to his office.

When they arrived they were told I was expelled for bringing a weapon to school. However, Uncle Tony felt generous that day and donated a new performing arts center, new gym, and all brand new computers to the school to keep me in.

Once we got home I was in for it.

Steve was really the only one being a parent though.

Tony was mad that I chose Natasha as my role model instead of him and Natasha was majorly pissed that I 'stole' her suit and favorite gun.

However, everybody except Natasha was afraid that I had chosen Natasha as my role model and they got even more afraid that I was learning a lot of her moves. Little do they know Natasha has been giving me secret lessons.

**Hey guys, I'm soo sorry I haven't written in forever. Just started my senior year of high school and it's been hell! Anyway thanks for reading and I still have a ton of rules. Review what you think. AND I REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE! So far mine might just be the tampon one LOL poor Steve! Let me know por favor!**


	8. Chapter 8

**RULE #39 NO MORE HALLOWEEN PARTIES**

The Avengers were at some great SHEILD party that I wasn't invited to! So since they went to have a jolly good time without me, I decided to throw a party of my own.

"JARVIS, can you call Tony's last minute party planner?" I ask.

"Miss Baer, would your Uncle agree with this party you are planning?" it replies.

"Hey JARVIS, first of all, I am third in command in this tower. Second what are you talking about? Tony loves parties. Third they are the ones who decided to go to a party without me so I am simply having my own. And finally fourth, just call the damn party planner!" I yell.

"Yes, Miss Baer." It responds and then I hear a dialing tone.

"Hey Tony! How is It going? What can I do for you?" the planner asks.

"Actually this is his niece, Anna. And I was needing to know how fast you can pull together a Halloween party?" I ask.

"Give me ten minutes and I will have you hooked up better than Tony's favorite club!" he chuckled.

"Great! Can you get one for tonight?" I ask.

"Of course, my name isn't Randy Whitestok for nothing!" he exclaims.

"Cool. Put it on Tony's tab. He does have a tab, right?" I ask.

"Of course. My biggest and best! How old are you?" he asks.

"Uhhh. I will give a tip if you forget that question and get the party going." I blurt out.

"Right away, little lady." He says.

"Say that again and your little party planning business will be bye-bye." I say ending the call.

-TWO HOURS LATER-

The party was great, all my friends and even kids I didn't know were here and everybody was in a costume. The decorations were epic! I dressed up as Wonder Woman and I looked the most realistic, if I may say so myself.

The only problems with the party was when people found the Iron Man suits and Steve's shield and tried to use them. A guy, Trevor, got into the Iron Man suit and started to fly it around the penthouse, just as the Avengers came up from the elevator. Busted.

It really is amazing how they always come home while I am doing something I know that would get me in trouble.

Anyway, Natasha threatened every person in the tower that didn't live there, that if they were still on the property in five minutes she would let Clint use them as target practice. They didn't need the five minutes to get out.

I am now grounded for three months and may no longer go to any parties or throw any.

Pssh like that will stop me, I'm Tony Stark's only niece!

**RULE #40 NO FREAKING OUT THE NEWBIES**

Somehow every single new recruit the agency has heard about me and my troublesome ways.. I'm betting Fury warned them.

Anyways so we got in a bunch of new recruits and I decided they didn't know the real me. To let them know the real me I begged and pleaded Marsha to let me take the new recruits before I finally threatened her, and she actually um quit so I am the new, new recruit tour guide *grins evilly and rubs hands together while laughing menacingly*. Instead of the usual newbie tour I took them to the "off limits" areas that I strangely have access too.. Anyways we make our way to the experiment area where they test new weapons and serums on volunteers. Yet they don't know those people actually volunteer. I turn around to them and point to a patient currently having a seizure and say.. "This, you sweet naïve kids, is what happens if you don't listen to me. If you think I'm kidding just ask my good buddy in there, Harold." I turn and see a random scientist who I know has a huge crush on me, he grins and waves. I wave back and look at all the newbies who now have wide eyes full of terror.

Next we go to weapons and I take a knife sharp enough to cut through the side of a car. I throw it at a dummy hitting it perfectly in the abdomen, in the kill area. Again more fearful stares. Little do they know I learned that cool maneuver not from Natasha, but Clove, from the Hunger Games!

Finally we go down to the medical bay and by this time they won't get four feet near me.

"This is where you end up if you spar with me, piss me off, or are just an ignorant ass who gets on my nerves. Just ask dear old Alex right here!" I say grabbing ahold of my last sparring partner who whimpered and ran away from me. They all backed up even farther.

**RULE #41 RE-ENACTING SCENES FROM TITANIC IS NOT ALLOWED**

I had just watched Titanic and was walking past the balcony off of the multimedia room and I got the greatest idea in the world..

I walked right to the edge and climbed over the railing when the next thing I know Steve is running full force at me even jumping over the dining room table.

"Anna! Hold on I'm coming! Please don't jump! We can get you help." He says reaching the doors.

"Huh?" I ask.

"Suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem. It is never the answer!" He said reaching out to me.

"Steve, I-"

"Anna I know you've had a really tough childhood, with losing your parents and everything but please don't jump." He pleaded. Just as he finished Natasha, Clint, and Tony ran out on the balcony as well.

"Annika, step back over the railing this second!" Tony yelled.

"How cold?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"What? What is cold?" Clint asked looking around.

"How cold is the water?" I asked.

"There is no fucking water around, Anna. Just come back over the side. If you jump and die, I will have Bruce bring you back." Natasha threatened.

"Stay back! I'll let go!" I yelled.

"Steve just fucking grab her! I'm not going to let my niece kill herself when I didn't even get to know my brother." Tony said pointing at me. Steve took one last big step towards me and grabbed my arm and pulled me to him bringing me back over.

"Anna, why would you do that?" Natasha asked stomping her feet. Tony had to sit down, I think I gave him an arc reactor attack ;) (get it? LOL)

"Have any of you ever seen the movie Titanic?!" I ask getting up.

"JARVIS, call a physiatrist for Anna. She just tried to commit suicide." Tony yelled at the AI. I rolled my eyes before I stormed off to my bedroom, locking the door behind me.

I have to meet with Dr. Kirk once a week to make sure I don't "attempt" anymore… I seriously only wanted to re enact the scene from Titanic!

**RULE #42 NO HACKING INTO SHEILD OR INTO COMPUTERS**

This is how I get lots of my blackmail material and other information. (finding out when Fury's birthday is )

I also use this amazing skill to get into other's computers and erase important emails, meetings, appointments, etc.

**Well this update was a little lamer than I wanted it to be so in honor of that I am making the next chapter extra long! Anyways keep up the reading and continue to review. If you haven't reviewed yet, REVIEW! I LOVE TO HEAR BACK WHAT YOU THINK! :D Even if you don't like it **


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay here is the extra long chapter I promised! :D Review at the end. Tell me which rule is your favorite!**

**RULE #43 SLEEPING PERSON + WARM WATER = BLACKMAIL!**

Oh poor Thor, yesterday he fell asleep watching a Family Guy episode and stupid me made a comment to everybody in the room.

"When I lived back in Florida, I learned to never fall asleep around my friends. If you were ever not the last to fall asleep you would wake up when you peed your pants." I sighed.

"You urinated in your sleep? How did you not feel the urge to go relieve yourself?" Loki asked looking at me strangely.

"It's an old trick. You take the sleeping person's hand and put it in a bucket of warm water and then their body just naturally reacts and you pee." I said chuckling. Loki's eyes got wide and he grinned mischievously and then quickly ran off.

"I think you just doomed poor Thor." Natasha said not looking up from her book.

"No, I think I just doomed Loki." I grinned.

"Oh yeah, Thor is going to barbeque his ass when he wakes up!" Clint laughed. I nodded my head confirming his thought just as Loki returned with the bucket of warm water and put one of Thor's huge hands in.

A few moments later Thor's yellow river began flowing even waterfalling off of Tony's very expensive couch and onto the floor. Clint and I whipped out of cell phones and began taking pictures of it all.

Then Thor woke up and Loki, being the idiot he is, was still holding the bucket with Thor's hand in it.

"What in the name of Odin? LOKI!" He roared. Loki dropped the bucket and took off. He didn't get too far before he was struck by a series of lightning bolts.

Yeah, Clint and I didn't get that in photos.. WE GOT VIDEOFEEDS ON YOUTUBE, BABY! OVER 12 MILLION VIEWS! Plus Thor is in debt to Clint and I forever ;)

**RULE #44 BUBBLE WRAP IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE TO ROLL DOWN STAIRS**

Tony and I were on Google looking up those hilarious captioned photos when we came across one with the guy from friends with bubble wrap around his head captioned; We are all mature, until somebody brings out bubble wrap.

The minute we saw this photo we got into his car and drove to the Box store and bought all the bubble wrap in the store.

"You moving Mr. Stark?" the counter boy asked handing him back his card.

"Nope. We're going to roll down my stairs!" He said taking the huge order of bubble wrap and walking out. Once we got back Tony wrapped the plastic around me and then I wrapped it around him.

When we were all done and well protected we went into the stair well and began all the fun. We got down six floors when all the bubbles had popped and that's when I hit my ankle really hard on the edge of a stair. The pain shot up my leg but I was going so fast I couldn't stop. Tony had rolled to a stop, but me being about 70 pounds lighter and rolled up tighter I just kept going.

"HELP!" I yelled as I continued to roll down the stairs. After about twenty minutes I finally reached a bigger landing and came to a stop.

"JARVIS. Call Steve down here. And Natasha and Clint. And Bruce now that I think about it." I call out.

"Right away Miss Baer." It responds. Ten minutes later they all arrive at my location while Tony is still climbing down the flights of stairs in his bubble wrap.

"What happened?" Natasha asked kneeling down next to me.

"Uncle Tony and I thought it would be fun to roll down the stairs, but we didn't want to get hurt so we went and bought bubble wrap and then wrapped up in it and started to roll down the stairs. It worked for the first six flights of stairs and then I hit my ankle on a stair and I think it's broken." I mumbled.

Bruce cut the bubble wrap off of me and took a look at my ankle, yep broken. He took me to the hospital to get an x-ray and found out it was broken in three spots. At least they were clean breaks and would heal quickly and nicely. I even got to pick out my cast color.. wanna know the color? HOT PINK! For the next two months I was on crutches and I had Tony at my beck and call.

**RULE #45 TONY'S CREDIT CARD IS NOT UP FOR GRABS**

Tony should really learn not to piss off any of us girls, especially Pepper. Okay here's what happened.

"What about this dress for the expo, Tony?" Pepper asked coming out in an amazing emerald green chiffon gown.

"You know, Pep, green just isn't my color. And it most certainly isn't yours." He said flicking though a magazine.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Your just too.. blonde for green. That color belongs on Natasha. You need a midnight blue or a sky blue." He said looking at her.

"You bought this for me Tony." She said raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, that dress! Um I was thinking it would look good on you but I was really liking how it looked on the model." He mumbled. Pepper's eyes began to water and she ran out of their room. She grabbed her shoes, coat, and purse and went to the multimedia room.

"Hey Anna, Natasha, do you want to go shopping?" she asked.

"Sure!" I said jumping up.

"What did Tony do now?" Nat asked getting up slowly.

"Oh that asshat? Nothing compared to what we're going to do to him.." she said pressing the elevator button.

Pepper took us to Saks, Barneys, Nordstrom's, and a few small but very expensive boutiques. After shopping for what seemed like 12 hours we went to Masa and the bill was over $600. Yeah when we finally got home we had Happy help us carry our loot to our rooms and then Pepper handed Tony all 40 of the exceptionally long receipts. His face went from 'what is this?' to goldfish in a matter of seconds when he saw the first one.

"How much did you spend?" He asked glancing at the rest.

" Just maybe over $80,000." Pepper said shrugging the grand total amount.

"$80,000 on what?!" He squeaked.

"Whatever we wanted. Don't make me mad, Tony." She said poking his chest hard and then going back to their room.

"Damn. Thank god Natasha just gives me the cold shoulder and takes all her anger out in practice. I'd be bankrupt!" Clint said laughing at Tony.

"Shut up Katniss!"Tony called after him.

**RULE #46 LIFE SIZE CUTOUTS ARE BANNED FOREVER**

Once again, Loki took my damn diary and thought I didn't notice. I found it in his closet knowing he would try to read it again I went and bought a big life size cut out of none other than Justin Beiber. I put it in his closet and set up my iPad to play 'Baby' when he opened the door.

I crawled up into the air vent and waited for Loki to return. When he finally did I got out my phone and pressed the record button. He immediately went to his closet and opened it.

A spot light shone right on the cut out and the music blared. Loki screamed and jumped back cowering behind his bed and covered his head with his pillow. I climbed out of the vent and grabbed my iPad and diary and walked over to the cowering Loki.

"Didn't I tell you to never touch my diary again?" I asked kicking his shin.

"Next time I'll get the real fucking deal, Justin Beiber. Don't test me." I threatened.

No more life size cut outs.

**RULE #47 ANYBODY WHO WAKES ME UP BEFORE 11AM IS GOOD AS DEAD**

For a reason that only God knows why, Nick Fury decided to call an Avenger meeting. (I was actually invited to this one!) I would have been super excited except he called for it to be at 7 in the friggin morning.

Tony tried to wake me up and I punched his balls in.

Clint tried (I think he even worn a cup to protect himself) but he punched in the nose.

Bruce tried but he was too nice so I just yelled at him and threw my very expensive lamp at him.

Steve tried to pick me up but I rolled out of bed and under it to hide from his super hot and muscular arms.

Finally they brought Natasha in, who grabbed me by my feet down the hall into the elevator still in my boyshort underwear and black sports bra. The entire ride from the tower to HQ I spent glaring at Natasha and plotting her's and Fury's death.

When I walked into the meeting room (which was freezing cold by the way) I got the weirdest looks.

"Uh, Anna, why?" Nick asked.

"Because somebody decided to call a damn meeting at 7 in the morning!" I shouted.

Nick shook his head and chuckled before beginning the meeting. I spent the meeting as well glaring at him and planning his death.

Finally we got to go to the gym. I actually grabbed Clint's bow and arrow and shot at Natasha grazing her about twelve times before Steve forcefully took it away and dragged me out of there.

"What is wrong with you Anna? Are you secretly working with HYDRA?" he demanded.

"NO! She woke me up! And you know what? FURY'S NEXT!" I yelled pointing in the direction of Fury's office.

Every time I went by there for the next week there were armed guards in front of his door looking out for me.

**There you have it! Chapter 9 took a while to write but it's up! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE! Like I said, I love to hear back! Well I hope you liked it and tomorrow I will post chapter 10 tomorrow but, depending on how you guys respond to this I might post 11 and 12 too! :D **


	10. Chapter 10

**RULE #48 THE MOVIE PROJECT X IS ****FOREVER**** BANNED**

It was tower bonding day so we all went to the movies. We couldn't decide on which movie to see so eventually Tony told us to go get the popcorn, drinks, and candy while he picked out a movie. When we all got in the theatre and the movie started we found out it was 'Project X'.

The movie in my opinion was great! But maybe just a little too great for Tony. I say this because when we got home after the movie Tony recruited me to help plan his party that would blow the movie away. I don't know why I agreed to help him, but I did.

This project was super top secret and we only made hand written notes knowing that Natasha and Clint wouldn't look for hand written notes and Steve was too nice to go snooping through other people's stuff. We planned for it to take place the weekend that Pepper, Clint, and Natasha would be away from the tower. We had to get Steve and Bruce out as well so we thought of a last resort and set them up on blind dates. Steve with one of Pepper's friends; Lorraine. And Bruce with a lab friend of Tony's; Kira.

So far everything panned out well except now I couldn't be in the tower in case somebody reported Tony's party so I settled with Tony flying me to his Malibu mansion with whatever I needed/wanted. I had JARVIS pull up the live video feed from the tower so I could watch.

The party started off pretty slow with the random people Tony invited but within an hour it picked up insanely fast. People got trashed quicker than Tony and I had anticipated. When was so wasted that he put on the Iron Man suit I picked up the phone and called Rhodey.

"What is it Tony?" Rhodey's tired voice came through the phone.

"Houston, we have a problem." I said seriously.

"Anna? What's wrong?" he asked sounding awake suddenly.

"Um, It's a long story but I'm just going to cut to the emergency, 'kay? So Uncle Tony is throwing a party and he is trashed and in his Iron Man suit." I said quickly.

"Get out of the tower, in fact get EVERYBODY out!"he shouted.

"No, I'm in Malibu. But he is in his tower." I said.

"Okay that makes me feel a little better. I'm going to kill Tony." He growled before hanging up.

"JARVIS." I call.

"Yes, Miss Baer?" It replied.

"Get everybody out of the tower! Uncle Tony is about to get a major ass whopping." I said. I turned back to the tv screen and saw everybody begin to run to the doors and not two minutes later Rhodey stormed onto the screen and forced Tony out of the suit confiscating it.

No more Project X…

**RULE #49 NO MORE PLAYING WATER POLO**

After watching the 2012 Summer Olympics, more specifically water polo, I wanted to play it really bad. I called an Avengers meeting and proposed the idea of team bonding.. water polo style!

Naturally Natasha thought it was a pointless game and didn't want to play. But me being her only 'niece' and my powerful ways of blackmail, I convinced her to agree to play.

The first practice day we divided into two teams.

On mine: Natasha, Thor, and Clint.

On Captain's: Tony, Bruce, and Loki.

I had no idea how competitive Natasha gets until Bruce had to revive Loki after he refused to give up the ball and Natasha held him under water until he passed out and released the ball.

Poor Loki never gets a break.

**RULE #50 MATTRESS SURFING IS BANNED**

Just like the bubble wrap incident Tony and I went mattress surfing only this time Tony was the one who was hurt…. And by hurt I mean his pride. He fell off his mattress several times and I only fell off once.

But on another note I now fear for my life since I accidently ran over Natasha..

**RULE #51 NO MORE MIDNIGHT TRIPS TO IHOP**

When you're hungry in the middle of the night where else are you going to eat besides IHOP? Exactly, nowhere! Just make sure that when you do go there at two in the morning, don't bring Tony. Why?...

Well.., I convinced the entire team to go to IHOP with me (Clint was easily convinced, he loves pancakes and coffee!) anyways so we get there and sit down and order and wait for our food. Of course it is Saturday night and 2am so prostitutes are out, not that I have anything against them. We get our food and one comes up to Tony..

"Remember me Tony?" she asks. I look at her wearing ten pounds of black eye makeup, cheap 99 cent lip stick, a skirt way too short and slightly ripped on the side and a black halter midriff baring top. Her sandy blonde hair looked like she hadn't washed it in over a week, maybe two and she smelled like she had just come from a bar.

"Honestly no." He said taking one look at her.

"I was at your place last week." She said.

"No, A) I'm pretty sure I haven't had a person other than Pepper over in well over a year and a half B) I am married and C) I have a kid on the way." He pointed out.

"Um, no we partied together and you owe me $2,000." She laughed. The situation escaladed from there until she started throwing coffee pots at all of us. I ended up throwing a glass of ice cold water on her.

"Wake up and stop the fucking lying. Because you know what? Last week he was in Madrid with HIS WIFE! All your lying does is make you look desperate!" I yelled before running out of the restaurant.

Tony ended up getting sued a week later by that prostitute.

That is why you never go to an IHOP with Tony at 2am.

**Sorry I had to make this one shorter. Have to get up early so tomorrow I will make the next chapter longer! REVIEW PLEASE! Thank you to everbody who does review and a special thank you to Honey-Bee128 for letting me know what you and your family thinks of the rules!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry guys! I've been swamped with school and then I've also been sick for the past few days **** still recovering. I actually have homework to do now… but… I chose you guys over it! :D Happy reading, AND REMEMBER TO REVIEW!**

**RULE #52 NO MORE PRANKS, ****PERIOD**

Yes, Tony, Clint, Loki, and I still had our whole prankster club goin' on, behind Fury's back of course. But we got bored pulling pranks on the same people (mostly including the people in the tower) so we decided to go bold and prank the one and only Nick Fury.

It had to be the best prank out of everything we had ever pulled. No amateur stuff for the Director. Clint came up with setting a greased pig loose in Fury's office since everybody at SHEILD knew how much Fury hated pigs. Tony was in charge of purchasing the pig, Loki was in charge of greasing the pig, Clint was in charge of making sure Fury would go to his office that day, and I was in charge of getting the little squealing bacon and ham animal into the office.

Tony and Loki had done their jobs now Clint and I had to do ours. After Clint left our secret headquarters I picked up the little slick pig and headed towards Fury's completely off limits office. I was actually surprised that he didn't leave a guard or two posted outside his office door at all times after my wonderful little threat. It was harder to get in than I had counted on, even without the guards. I guess Fury changed his security details AFTER Tony had looked at them two days ago.

Instead of going through the front door like I had originally planned I had to gain access to the air vents. It's so much harder than it looks especially at SHEILD and not to mention I had a 45 pound pig in my arms. After a good ten minutes I finally was into the vents and on my way quickly to Fury's office. I removed the vent to Fury's office and set the pig down before quickly returning to the vents. Just as I was replacing the vent the door opened. I heard somebody enter the room, the pig squeal and begin to run around, but I heard an extremely feminine scream. I looked back into the room and saw Maria Hill scrambling to get on top of the desk.

"Damn it, Hill. What are you doing in Fury's office?" I hissed. She looked up at me and her scared expression quickly changed to anger.

"This MY office you idiot! Fury's is one more over." She growled at me.

"Mother f-" I yelled. I kicked the vent off and quickly cornered and grabbed the poor little bacon bunch and crawled back up into the vents. This time I looked into the office and definitely recognized it. Right down to my amazingly thick file, reminded me of my file from school. I removed the vent and dropped down into the his office and was about to set the pig down JUST as Fury and Clint walked in. 'Damn, I'm sooo busted..' I thought to myself catching Clint's horrified look.

"What in the hell is this, Anna?" Nick growled gesturing to the pig.

"Uh, I thought you might want some fresh bacon?!" I said quickly trying to hand the greased pig to him.

Yeah,…. More paperwork for me, Clint, Tony, and Loki.

Oh yeah, and more interrogations… -.- I really need to star leaving Loki out..

**RULE #53 NO PLAYING SPY WITH CLINT AND NAT**

So, it was just me, Clint and Natasha left in the tower one night and it was extremely awkward. I could just picture the things they wanted to do, but I was still around. Suddenly Clint got a good idea. Fury had been acting a little strange lately so, Clint purposed that we play a 'harmless' little spying game on them. Harmless is in quotations because it started off as harmless but what we found is now major blackmail for me and Natasha to use on both of them.

We started with Fury who was in his office pretty late, too late for the Director to even still be at HQ. He left for just a few minutes but when he returned he was in a tux.. and had a bouquet of roses.

"Who is Fury's hot date?" I ask though the binoculars that are practically glued to my eyes as we watch his being to open warm platters of food and set them up around the room. I look at Nat and Clint who are looking into the office with their jaws on the floor. About twenty minutes later the door opens and Fury quickly greets his special guest. Finally the guest steps in and finally reveals their face. My face went from curiosity to goldfish in .2 seconds when I saw their face. It was no other than Agent Maria Hill. I quickly dug out my phone and snapped a photo of them sharing a quick kiss before he led her to an empty seat with a wine glass. He poured her a glass of wine before taking a seat himself. This is one of the only times I have ever seen Fury smile out of pure happiness.

The date lasted a little over two hours. They had downed two and a half glasses of wine in the time period and were currently very handsy.

"Uh, Anna out!" I said getting slightly uncomfortable watching this.

"Me too.." Nat said following me. Clint quickly followed us back to the tower and on the way we exchanged all the good photos we had of their secret rendezvous. I had the best.

It had been a week since the huge secret we uncovered and in that week Fury and Maria had only pissed me and Nat off so we pulled them aside and showed them all the pictures if their date night. Maria turned red and scooted away from Fury and Fury just glared at us with his eye.

"Now, Cyclops and Minion to Mr. Cyclops I am going to make a friendly suggestion to you, stop pulling the shit you're pulling or these babies are going viral!" I smirk.

Natasha and I are under house arrest for the week..

**RULE #54 NO PLAYING MAD SCIENTIST WITH BRUCE AND TONY**

I had a Chemistry test on Monday and had no idea what Mr. D had been talking about. So I enlisted the help of my super brilliant Uncles. They took me down to their labs and got started on explaining the basic stuff to me, you know elements and such. We got so into the chemicals and stuff that we just randomly started to mix the less of the powerful ones and somehow, I have no idea how, but somehow I managed to create something that began to melt through EVERYTHING!

Tony and Bruce dragged me away from my little melting monster and put the lab on lockdown as the lab bots got to work cleaning up the mess and properly disposing of the chemicals and my monster. After they finished Tony had to do an estimate on the damage to his lab..

Yeah, let's just say I failed my test and I am not allowed in the labs EVER AGAIN, not even with Tony or Bruce..

**RULE #55 DO NOT CHALLENGE JARVIS**

Yes, I will admit it I can be a cocky, arrogant, son of a bitch; well in this case daughter of a bitch; sometimes but that's just how people my age are and apparently it runs in my family assuming you all know my uncle, Tony Stark. But this time I just got a little too cocky and challenged JARVIS to it's knowledge. I learned something new that day.. I learned to not challenge JARVIS unless you want to realize that the AI will always win no matter what..

**RULE #56 DO NOT ASK NATASHA IF SHE KILLED HER HUSBAND**

I wondered why Natasha was called The Black Widow, so I thought it would be okay to ask her a few questions..

"Hey, Natasha. Why are you called The Black Widow?" I ask.

"Because I was in that program back in Russia and am the only one who survived." She said not looking up from her book.

"Are you sure you didn't kill your husband? What was his name again? Alexei?" I asked smirking.

"I didn't kill Alexei! He 'died' in a mission even though I know he is training the new KGB agents." She growled at me.

"Wait! Do you still have feelings for him? Does Clint know?" I ask her.

"What? NO!" she yelled.

"He doesn't know?" I ask knowing perfectly well what she meant.

"Not that Anna, I mean no I don't have feelings for him anymore!" she growled throwing her book at me hitting my arm.

"Wow I really hope Clint knows what he's getting into! Or he'll end up in a polished wooden box and you'll forever be the Black Widow." I tease just as she throws one of Tony's trophies at me breaking the little man's head off.

**RULE #57 DON'T DRINK NAT'S COFFEE**

Coffee is very important to Natasha. I felt bad when I told Tony Pepper's new nanny for Delilah and Cameron(Tony's twin babies) that it was okay to drink the coffee that was on timer. I knew it was Natasha's and that in exactly five minutes she would come shuffling into that kitchen grab her soon to be missing favorite coffee mug and then find her pot of coffee drained. Leslie quickly poured the coffee into the mug and sat down at the kitchen bar next to me. She downed the hot liquid still not awake enough to be nearly prepared for the wrath of The Black Widow. Hell, if I was dealing with the son and daughter of Tony Stark all the coffee in the world would not be enough.

Natasha walked in her red curls matted all over her head and her eyes still half way closed.

"Good morning little red." I grinned.

"Shut up Anna." She glared as she reached the kitchen area. She immediately went to the cupboard and removed Clint's cup and began the search for hers.

"Have you seen my cu- who in the hell are you and why are you using my cup?" she growled stomping over to Leslie and I.

"I'm sorry I didn't know this was your cup." Leslie said softly pushing the cup to Tasha.

"AND YOU'R DRINKING MY COFFEE?" Natasha screeched.

"I'M SORRY I HAD NO IDEA!" Leslie said running out of the room to the elevator.

"You know, Tash, you really shouldn't be so hard on poor Leslie. I just thought you had already had your morning coffee." I say smirking before retreating back to my room.

"You…" Natasha growled at me.

We didn't hear from her or see her ever again.

**Again I'm so so super sorry for not uploading sooner. But I'm all better now so I can hopefully update faster! REVIEW, por favor? **


	12. Chapter 12

**RULE #58 NEVER TOUCH CLINT'S BOW AND ARROW**

Yeah, touching the archer's two most prized possessions, he will find out and hunt you down.. and use you for his target practice.

Let's just say I 'borrowed' Clint's bow and arrows and met a professional archer who taught me how to use it properly. When I got home three hours later I placed it back in its place exactly how I found it and went to go watch Covert Affairs. When Clint and Natasha returned from their date night I was joined rather quickly by a fuming Clint.

"Annika why did you take my bow?" he growled.

"Why do you automatically assume it was me?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Because, Tony would only touch them if he didn't value his life, Bruce hates weapons, Tasha is okay to touch them, and Steve would have probably accidently killed himself touching them. You, oh guilty looking one, are the only one in the entire tower that wants to learn how to use any and all weapons." He pointed out.

"Okay I give, I did borrow it but it is not broken and nobody is dead. No harm done." I shrugged looking back at the tv.

"Come with me Anna." He said taking my upper arm.

"Uh, could you wait another ten minutes?! Auggie is on to Lena for killing Simon and shooting Annie and framing Annie for passing secrets to enemies." I said swatting his hand away.

"No. Now." He said shutting the tv off.

"Oh, come on! I have to know if that son of brat is going to die!" I cry. I kick and scream until he finally leaves. I turn the tv back on just in time to see Lena trying to suffocate Annie but Joan jumps onto Lena. I watched the rest of the episode and by the end my face is doing the goldfish number. I turn the tv off and headed towards the target range. As soon as I open the glass door an arrow whizzes past me embedding itself into the white wall.

"Are you insane?!" I scream as I run for cover in the equipment closet.

"Don't touch my bow or arrows ever again!" He yells back as another arrow comes through the door.

I hid in the closet for four hours from an angry Hawkeye.

**RULE #59 SAME GOES FOR NATASHA'S GUNS**

One would think that after the whole Clint's arrows thing I would learn to not touch any of the assassins weapons of choice.

Especially Natasha's favorite guns.

I am still pulling glass out of my hair from the broken window in the kitchen.

**RULE #60 DON'T ASK LOKI IF HE'S AN AVATAR**

Loki and I had just finished watching James Cameron's movie 'Avatar' and I had been thinking what if Loki wasn't a frost giant.. WHAT IF HE WAS A FREAKIN' AVATAR?! That would just be the coolest thing ever!

"Loki..?" I asked.

"What?" he asked back getting up and pouring himself some orange juice.

"Are you a you know, avatar?" I asked grinning.

"No. I do not look like one of those creepy things that lives on another… Okay just because I match almost exactly to one of those things that does not mean-"

"UNCLE LOKI'S AN AVATAR!" I squeal before running off.

"I am not!" He yelled back.

For the next few days I had spent countless hours calling all over the country before I found him.

"This is James." He said.

"Mr. Cameron?" I asked unsure.

"Yes, who is this?" he asked.

"My name is Annika Baer and I am Tony Stark's niece but I wasn't calling about that, I am calling to tell you that my uncle Loki is an avatar." I said seriously.

"Enough pranks, Miss Baer." He said annoyed.

"I am being 100% serious, sir. If you don't believe me come to the Stark- I mean the Avengers tower next week and I will prove it to you." I said.

"I cannot just get up and fly across the country to look at somebody who has painted themselves blue." He snapped.

"Oh, please. Your James Cameron. And if you don't believe me that's fine too." I said getting ready to hang up when he replied.

"I will be in JFK Sunday morning at 8am. Send a car and I will come see your 'uncle' who is an 'avatar'." He said before hanging up.

"JARVIS. Will you put on Happy's agenda to pick up Mr. James Cameron at JFK on Sunday morning at *am and bring him here, please?" I ask the AI.

"Of course Miss Baer." It replied. I couldn't wait until Sunday.

Sunday came quickly and at 9:30am Mr. Cameron arrived at the tower.

"Miss Baer I presume." He said extending his hand. I took it and shook his hand.

"Yes, and of course you are James Cameron director of two of the greatest movies ever produced." I said grinning.

"Thank-you. Now, where is this avatar uncle of yours." He asked raising an eyebrow.

"He will be up in about 5 minutes. Want some coffee?" I ask.

"No, just water will do." He replied taking a seat on the white leather recliner as I got him his glass of water. Exactly five minutes later Loki emerged from the elevator in all his blue glory.

"Oh, hi Loki. I forgot today was the day you had those lab experiments." I lied.

"Who is this, Anna?" Loki asked eyeing Mr. Cameron suspiciously.

"Oh him? This is James Cameron. He directed Titanic and Avatar. Both are your favorite movies right?" I ask grinning.

"You didn't.."

"Oh, I did.."

Mr. Cameron's face went from composed to goldfish at seeing Loki's true side. I totally showed him.

**RULE #61 NO MORE NERF GUN WARS**

Being in a house full of people who usually have to fight at leave 80% of the year means they have lots of stress. I noticed that they were all tired, jumpy, and/or pissed off. One couldn't get a word in without having a plate thrown at them or without the Hulk being unleashed. I emerged from my room one morning carrying all 20 of my nerf guns and my practically unlimited stash of foam bullets into the living room. I loaded my favorite gun, the NStrike Elite, and began shooting at them.

The response I got was anger and a few spoons hurled at me.

"Grab a gun and let the games begin." I said shooting Tony in the forehead.

"We aren't in the mood, Anna" an exhausted Clint said.

"I don't care." I growled shooting him. That set them all off and they grabbed guns and loaded them up before chasing after me.

This 'little' war lasted the entire day and in the end the kitchen was covered in little orange and green foam bullets and frying pans were thrown everywhere after the person holding it had run for another cover. We didn't realize that in the middle of the war a few stray bullets had hit Pepper's antique vase and knocked it off of the small table shattering upon impact with the floor.

"Oh shit, Pep's going to kill me." Tony whimpered. I patted him on the back sympathetically.

"Actually she is going to kill Anna." Natasha said tossing me her plastic gun and the others quickly did the same before running for cover.

Yeah, Pepper was none too happy when she saw the vase on the floor in about 2 million pieces.

**Hey guys! You just read chapter 12. Review please. And just want to let you guys know I'm working on a fanfic for the movie Red Eye. Currently working on chapter 1. Check it out when I get it up tonight! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everybody! I'm really sorry for not updating sooner, I've been quite busy with school, job hunting, and writing two of my other stories. But I am back with more rules!:D**

**RULE #62 NO MORE WATER BALLOON FIGHTS AT SHIELD**

It was the first day of summer vacation and as a 'goodbye' or how I translate it 'thank god Anna's finally gone' gift my teachers gave me water balloons of all things..

I had no idea what to do with 10,000 water balloons, when I was at SHEILD I was just sitting at my desk and I accidently spilled my glass of water and it hit me!

A MASSIVE WATER BALLOON FIGHT!

I didn't even waste time running to Loki's room when we got back to the tower.

"Oh Loki!" I sing as I run down the long dark and slightly medieval hallway.

"Oh dear Odin! The spawn of Satan beckons me." He whines from his bed.

"Guess what! Go on guess!" I squeal.

"I get my scepter back?" he asks getting excited.

"I said _guess_ not _dream_. And if they were to ever give anybody your scepter it would be me, anyway, my teachers gave me 10,000 water balloons!" I say jumping up and down.

"What are you going to do with drink holders." He asks me.

"Slap yourself for not knowing what a water balloon is. Water balloons are a fun way of entertainment for me, torture/migraines for the people I choose to bombard with!" I explain.

"And you're here because…"He says.

"You're going to help me fill them up and them drop them on people at SHIELD." I say rolling my eyes.

"And if I refuse?"

"I will tell that one chick, uhhh Ramona, how you truly feel about her." I threaten.

"Oh, well, what are we waiting for? Do we just zap water into the balloons?" he asks looking at the small balloon.

"No, if that was all you had to do I wouldn't need you. Okay do exactly as I do." I say as I teach him how to fill up a water balloon.

Three and a half hours later we had filled up all 10,000 water balloons. Now we just had to figure out how to transport them. Eventually I managed to 'recruit' Jaspen, the new shuttle operator, oh and when I say recruit I really mean blackmail him. Just thought I would let you know.

On Thursday at eleven am I put all the balloons into place then used the special skills I acquired from watching Clint, I climbed up into the rafters with a small bucket of balloons and watched my select targets leave different areas before they joined in a small debriefing room. I aimed and dropped the huge and very full balloons drop down onto their unknowing victims.

SPLAT! One hit Meghan, another hit Natasha, another Maria, and the last one hit Fury right on his shiny bald head.

It was war. Within an hour balloons were flying everywhere and then busting on everything from people to computers to very important non-recoverable papers.

Once Fury found out it was me I was suspended from SHIELD premises until they cleaned up the balloon mess.

They never knew Loki had helped me, you know what that means..NO INTERROGATION!

**RULE #63 NO MORE BOYS/GIRLS NIGHTS OUT**

Last week the guys (more Tony) got the feeling like they needed "fresh air" so they decided to go to a few downtown clubs. After they left Pepper decided it would be fun for us girls to have a night out as well. We eventually decided to go to see a play on Broadway then just shop for a while.

On our way to one of the many shops we had hit that night we were walking past a new nightclub with an extremely long line. Pepper slowed and peeked in just enough so she saw the blonde hair belonging to no other than Thor.

"Thor likes clubbing?" Jane asked as she stared into the club at her boyfriend dancing on a bar with a few younger skimpily dressed girls.

"Yeah, I didn't know Clint had this kind of side to him either." Natasha growled as she caught sight of Clint grinding with young college girls.

"I'm worried that Steve is going to be sick at the dancing of today and that Loki will get a girl possibly pregnant.." I laughed.

"Tony does this all the time." Pepper waved off.

"Fuck this. I'm going in and dragging Clint away before he walks away with one of those skanks." Tasha said handing me her seven bags.

"Oh, I'll come. Thor has a long night of groveling." She hissed as she handed me her numerous number of bags.

"Yeah I'll get the rest of the boys out too." Pepper said handing me her what seemed like two hundred bags. I got weird looks from people standing in line.

Finally about twenty minutes later Pepper, Jane, and Natasha emerged with Tony, Thor, Clint, Steve, Loki, and Bruce in tow. Tony was swaying terribly clinging to Pepper, Clint was getting a good ear full from an extremely pissed off Natasha, Steve was as red as my new cashmere sweater, Loki was looking dazed probably from some kind of drugs he had encountered in there, and Bruce was unexpectedly calm.

They didn't have a very fun night after the work they were put to. Not to mention the fact of how hung over they would be tomorrow.

**RULE #63 IF BRUCE STARTS TO HULK OUT,RUN LIKE HELL**

It's common sense really unless you are an extremely retarded newbie who doesn't think the Hulk will hurt you, you are seriously misinformed and doomed to either death or a long brutal hospital stay. Just ask Agent Jordan Moore.

**RULE #64 TONY DOES NOT NOR WILL HE EVER HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO GIVE DRIVING LESSONS..**

"Hey Uncle Tony. You know I just turned seventeen like oh I don't know nine months ago and I still don't know how to drive.." I say looking at him sternly.

"What's your point Anna?" Tony asked looking up from his mysterious work in the lab.

"Can you teach me how to drive? Pretty please!" I asked falling to the ground and hugging his ankles.

"Um no. And get off my ankles." He said shaking me off. I shook my head and remained there and chanted 'please' until he decided to agree.

Seven hours later….

"Please please please please please…."

"FINE! I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO DRIVE A GOD DAMNED CAR!" He yelled finally caving. I jumped up brushed myself off and the hugged him tightly squealing thank you the running off to update my twitter and facebook! ;D

Later that week I literally had to drag Tony out of his lab (note to self: hack into Jarvis and change his lab's security code) and into the garage. He led me to his 2012 Audi R8 GT and tossed me the keys as he got in the car's passenger side. I slid into the driver's side of the car and put the key in the ignition, turned it, and the engine purred to life. I put the car into reverse and slowly backed out of the space narrowly missing the red Ferrari and then eased it back into drive. I glanced over at Tony who was completely absorbed in his texting or emailing or whatnot to really teach me how to drive his car. I floored the gas and sped out of the Tower's personal parking garage luckily there was no oncoming traffic so I just pulled out into the streets of Manhattan.

"Tony put down the phone and teach me how to drive!" I scream as I quickly pass several cars obviously going the speed limit (I was clearly 3x the legal speed)

"You're doing fine, Anna." He said yawning at the end.

"So speeding is normal?" I ask sarcastically.

"This is usually how fast I go. Just don't pay attention to anybody else. Look out for number one." He says looking back at his phone.

"Okay if you say so." I say secretly panicking. I keep at the speed I'm going and almost run over a few pedestrians and street vendors. After a few minutes I have a line of cops after me….

Tony is not the best instructor for anything!

**I am so sorry for it taking so long to update! I've just been so busy! Well thanks for reading and reviewing! I am getting started on the next installment right now! Love you all!**


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